Alcoholics.. What?

I don't know what the trend is lately but there have been a lot of alcoholic patients that have come into the hospital lately. Some of them are nice about it and tell you they are an alcoholic, others don't. Then there are those that like to say "I only have a couple drinks every now and then BUT I drank a lot this past weekend." Really? How long was your weekend? 5 years?

Here is how it went down last night:

This patient came into the hospital with a GI bleed. She is in her low 30's and a former po-lice officer. It is now about the 40th hour of her hospitalization. She hits the call lights and is laughing her ass off, this is how the conversation went:

Me: What is so funny?
Patient: (uncontrolable laughter) All those things flying around in the room, it just doesn't stop.
Me: Really? I'm not seeing it, can you tell me where it is?
Patient - still laughing with no reply
Me: Can you tell me where you are right now?
Patient: Well of course, I'm in my bed but this room isn't right.
Me: (uncontrollable laughter on the inside this lady is crazy) Well, Ok I will check on that for you! (Roaring laughter in the halls because she is some kinda crazy)

So, I told the RN that she is hallucinating and having some major D/T's and we should keep an eye on her because something is about to happen.

Sure enough about an hour later... Bed alarm goes off, patient is off her rocker. She doesn't know what the fuck is going on but we are keeping her here against her will and people down the hall are talking about her. The patient has pulled out both IV's and is dripping blood all over. I cannot see this because it is dark in her room. I get her blood all over my one hand, fingers, wrist.

YEAH!! I win a trip to the emergency room so they can document etc blah blah blah..

So people.. Tell everyone you know, if you want to drink a lot it is your business. HOWEVER, if you get hospitalized be honest and make sure the doctors know so you can get medicated. I do and will make fun of you when you are being stupid and your under my care!